Sometimes, when I am really excited about something, I feel constrained when I try to compact my thoughts into a mere tweet or Facebook status. I find at these times, blog posts are optimal for satisfying my need to ramble.
Not that I am a usually short-winded person. But I digress.
Last week, the biggest prayer I’ve ever had was answered: I know what to do with my life. I have a life plan. My future has a purpose, and I found it! Winning.
And this week, especially today, my excitement for the future has been growing exponentially, to the point where I can’t contain my joy. I have turned into that girl who walks around campus smiling to herself with no apparent reason.
What excites me the most about having this prayer answered is being able to look over the past few years and see how God has worked in my life to bring me to this point. Like any good English nerd, I did a little research before sitting down to write; I broke out the journals that I have used throughout college so far, starting with spring semester of my freshman year. I’m reading through them, and I realize that it is an absolute miracle that I ever figured out where the Lord wanted me to go with my future.
Exhibit A: All of the possible career paths I considered over the past three years:
Med school/doctor, law school, education reform, psychologist, psychiatrist, researcher, medical missionary, writer, teacher, peace corps.
There were others. I changed my major like four times over three years; by next spring I’ll probably have enough credits to graduate twice.
If you’ve made it to this point in this post, you’re probably thinking, “So what was the big revelation that clued you into what you’re supposed to do with your life?” And my response to you is: that’s a good question. A question I will now attempt to answer.
As I looked back over my journal entries, a common theme that I saw was doubt that the Lord would provide for me. I have wanted to work within the education system since I was a senior in high school; however, it never seemed practical, or possible, and it brought about many arguments with my parents. When you tell people you want to work in education reform, usually people give you a really weird look; you don’t always get a lot of support, mainly because people see it as an idealist position. It didn’t help that I anticipated that most people would think I was crazy, so I was always afraid to admit the desires that the Lord had put on my heart.
Basically, that path was too hard. I thought that the problems I would face along the way were too big for God to handle, so I kept control of my life…and continued to walk around like a lost duckling.
It’s easy for us to believe that talking to God directly translates into trusting God. If you really think about it, though, us talking to God means that we aren’t listening. If we’re too caught up in chatchatchatting it up in our journals, we don’t give the Lord a chance to address our questions and worries. I know in my life, I had several things crash down around me before I was literally forced to my knees begging for hope and guidance. God had been answering my prayer all along; I just wasn’t ready to trust and hear what He had to say.
If you’re praying for something, the Lord will answer you; that is an undeniable fact. He will answer your prayers. He promises multiple times throughout Scripture that He’s got our backs.
Exhibit B: Verses that guided me to the ability to trust the Lord. Just a few of many…
Jeremiah 29:11 “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”
John 14:14 “If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it.”
Romans 8:31 “What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?”
Hebrews 12:1-2 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.”
It is easy to let our doubts block our vision of the Lord’s plans for us. You won’t see God’s plans until He has your complete, full attention. Listening to and discerning what the Lord has to say is not an easy thing to do by any means, but it’s a lot harder if we are too afraid of what He has to say. This is not to say that He will answer your prayers instantaneously; He has a perfect time schedule, despite what we may think.
All this to say: if you’re still trying to figure out where the Lord is calling you, don’t give up! He does have a plan for your life, even if it seems as if everything is a giant mess right now. If you let Him control the pieces, they will fit together perfectly before your very eyes. And you’ll be left standing there with your jaw on the ground in amazement.